I Survived Depression - so can YOU!

The loss of a loved one is never easy, but losing your spouse can be especially devastating. It does not matter if the death was anticipated because of a terminal condition, or not. The sense of loss is still overpowering and can lead to bouts of depression.

The Symptoms

Depression is when a person feels sad and unhappy, and the world just plain looks gloomy. In many cases depression is short-lived and will go away on its own as circumstances improve. In other cases, severe depression may need to be treated with medication and counseling. In severe cases the depressed person wakes up in the morning with a feeling of “why bother” and many times even has trouble getting out of bed. The emotional symptoms of depression can include:

* Sadness, emptiness, hopelessness.
* No longer taking pleasure in things that one used to enjoy.
* Isolation from those around you.
* Irritable or anxiousness
* Inabilities to stay focused or make simple decisions.
* Feelings of guilt and loss of self worth.
* Suicidal thoughts

There are also physical symptoms that can be associated with depression. These include:

* Headaches.
* Any type of chronic pain can be intensified.
* Insomnia, difficulty going to sleep, staying asleep or waking too early.
* Appetite changes, either overeating or loss of appetite.
* Bouts of dizziness.

The Emotions of a Surviving Spouse

Some surviving spouses are ashamed of their feelings of disbelief, denial, shock, confusion, anger, and despair. Many times the surviving spouse feels guilty for their feelings. All of these emotions leaves the person feeling like there is something wrong with them. But, these feelings are natural and there is no need to feel ashamed or guilty on top of all of the other feelings. One needs to allow these feelings to develop and run their natural course without letting them overrun you. If they don’t the person will become very subject to additional mental and physical ailments.

The time immediately following a spouse’s death can be the most trying. The planning of the funeral, the financial review, everyone offering their sympathies, notifying social security and other offices, and if there is a will that needs to be located as well. All of this can literally drain a person, if it is possible, ask someone to help. What makes this even worse is that it all happens at a time when the surviving spouse is in no condition to handle it and make important decisions.

Learning How to Cope

For the survivor’s mental well-being, learning how to cope with the loss is essential. Grief is natural and must be done in order to move on, no matter how difficult that seems. Surround yourself with loved ones who share in the grief. Join a group that consists of members in the same situation. Talk about how you feel, let it out. Stay healthy, eat a good diet. If you are on medications, continue to take them, do not give up. Do not immediately make the decision to move elsewhere. Stay busy, take up a new hobby. It can take time for the pain to subside, if it ever does, so be patient with yourself. If you cannot handle the grief on your own, seek professional help.

The world for the widowed individual will take on a whole new aspect. Some examples would be; for those that have never managed the household finances, they now have to learn. They have to re-learn how to socialize with members of the opposite sex, maybe even find new love, or at the very least a new companion.

The most important thing to remember is that there are new feelings that will never go away. A surviving spouse will just learn how to cope with his or her new situation. Every day is a new step, and it takes one step at a time to recover.

Tags: depression, clinical+depression, grieving

This entry was posted on Saturday, April 12th, 2008 at 4:54 am and is filed under Depression | . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.